Sunday, 26 January 2014
To Spank or Not to Spank, That Is the Question!
I've written my post for the over 30 weeks, until last week when I couldn't get out of bed. This flu season is really knocking me down! It's been three weeks now that I've gone from a viral to bacterial infection. I hope the antibiotics I'm on right now do the job!
Being sick gave me a chance to catch up on all my favorite cooking shows, as well as, some trashy reality shows. I was reading my daily Facebook page when I came across something that caught my eye! I started scrolling down to read comments from people and couldn't believe what I was reading! This was my comment,"
I cannot believe all the nonsense I've read about spanking! First of all, spanking your kid in the butt should only be happening around their terrible 2 and 3's. If you've done your job properly as a parent, then there is no need to spank them after that! We need to teach our children about respecting adults! This is what's missing in our world! As a n educator, I find it difficult to teach children who have never been disciplined, who've never had anyone talk to them in a firm voice! OMG! What is wrong with parents these days! DO your job and teach your children values and respect so that one day they can be normal adults! PLEASE!
I think what the problem here is that many parents feel that raising their voice to their child when necessary will scar them for life! We have too much new information out there about disciplining children. Don't get me wrong, some advice is good, but most of it is utter nonsense! Children need to learn to respect others and to treat others the same way they want to be treated. They need to be held accountable for their actions and that there will be a consequence for their actions. We all know empty threats don't work and that the punishment needs to fit the crime. If you're going to give your child a consequence for their actions, then you need to follow through with the punishment, otherwise they will never respect you as a person. Remember, you are the parent, they are the child! This doesn't mean that you cannot have a relationship with your child. Find common interests and use this quality time to strengthen your relationship with your children.
To spank or not to spank, this is the question! One comment I read made me laugh so hard, I fell off the couch. This person said, "We start out spanking our child on the butt, then they grow up thinking a spank on the butt is not enough, so they hit their child on the hand, and before you know it we are physically abusing our children! How extreme was this person! I believe most parents know the difference between a gentle spank to startle their child's bottom, from a "whopper" that would send their child flying across the room! I remember the only time I ever hit my children in the face. They were having their bath (2 years old) and I was extremely tired from work. I asked them to stop screaming and of course they ignored me! I slapped them both in the mouth at the same time and they started crying. Seconds later, I started crying with them, and they immediately stopped and looked at me with a puzzled look. They said, "Mommy, why are you crying?" I guess I didn't hurt them that much...It hurt me more! We are all human and have our share of bad days. As long as we recognize that "spanking" should only be used when children are very young and only on their bottom!
Let's stop blowing everything out of proportion and over analyzing everything! Think back when you were young...did your parents give you a spank here and there? Are you traumatized or did you learn to respect your parents and all adults? Exactly!
Why have we changed the old ways? I think our grandparents and their parents before them knew a thing or two about raising children...they had on average 7+ children...
Let's look in the past more and learn to use this knowledge to raise our children just like our parents raised us.
We didn't turn out that bad, did we?
Let them go through their terrible 2's, unpredictable teens, unexpected "light bulb" moments that will confirm what you already know...
You are a good parent!
In the meantime, laugh with your children, hug each other every chance you get, never go to bed mad and without saying, "I love you."
In a blink of an eye, they will no longer be children but adults, ready to make a difference in the world...
Have you done your job as a parent and given them the necessary tools for adulthood?
Only time can tell...