Doesn't life sometimes feel like a battlefield? We win some, and we lose some! From childhood, we instantly learn that winning is something good and losing isn't. We try and teach our children that winning isn't everything, but they know better!
Is winning at a board game and winning an argument the same? I think so. When you win at something, others acknowledge your accomplishment and congratulate you, while others become infuriated because they wanted to win.
The same occurs when people argue.
Why do we argue? Is it to prove our point, to justify a decision made, to defend someone else, or is it just to be right, even when we know we are at fault?
All the above.
Recognizing when we are wrong is hard for most of us to admit. For some of us, we learn how to solve conflicts by compromising, by being the better person and admitting we are at fault, or by diffusing the argument before it goes too far! For the rest of us, we never learn how to deal with conflict!
We soon recognize at some point in our lives that in order to have peace, we need to choose our battles and walk away when conflicts arise!
This may be difficult with the people in our lives that know how to push our buttons and say the right thing to set us off and they learn this at a really young age.
They say that the people who we argue with the most, are the people who are most like us. I have a few of those in my life and boy do they drive me crazy!
I realized recently that this is part of the learned behavour we have all acquired since childhood and I've also realized that this learned behavour can be changed. We can change how we react to conflict and create new pathways in our brain and begin to solve issues in our lives in a healthy manner rather than a destructive one!
Difficult? Yes. Possible? Definitely!
Choose your battles! Let go of the little fights, otherwise you will find yourself surrounded by conflict all day, everyday!
Sometimes life has to hit us over the head with a brick before we realize our mistakes and learn that if we don't break this cycle, we will pass these negative behavours onto our children.
Children learn what they live, so let's give them the necessary tools to live their lives full of joy, love, and success!